those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
