My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
