I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Randomize
