dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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