just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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