Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
