the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
