So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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