Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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