Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
