Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Swine flu is the new snow day.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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