I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
