How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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