I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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