is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
