Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
