Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
