The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
