dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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