She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
