It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
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