i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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