fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
