The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
