We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
