Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
