i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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