She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
