Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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