oh god the rape fog is back!
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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