obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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