I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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