Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Two words: blizzard sex
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
