i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
So apparently I’m into choking now
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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