Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
