i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
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