Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
