when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
