is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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