Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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