I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
