ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
