I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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