are you still at the devil's house?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
