well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
