therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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