don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
