Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
