you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
