I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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